Karoline Leavitt Breaks Through Self-Limiting Belief That She Has to Tell the Truth
Washington, D.C. — In an inspiring moment of personal growth, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt announced during Monday’s briefing that she has finally overcome the toxic, self-imposed belief that she must, at any point, be honest with the American public.
“I used to think transparency was important,” Leavitt told reporters, her voice trembling with vulnerability. “But then I read a very powerful self-help post on Instagram that said, ‘You can’t grow if you’re stuck in someone else’s version of integrity.’ That changed everything.”
The breakthrough came after a particularly difficult week in which Leavitt had to insist that mass layoffs were “evidence of a booming economy,” that wildfires were “just the Earth detoxing,” and that the President’s accidental declaration of martial law in Delaware was “a symbolic metaphor.”
According to close aides, Leavitt’s transformation began during a late-night manifestation session with a vision board, a copy of The Secret, and a glass of kombucha labeled “truth is optional.” Within hours, she was free from the shame spiral that came every time she told a reporter, “What the President meant to say was…”
“I realized I had been playing small,” Leavitt said, holding back inspirational tears. “Who am I to limit myself to the facts? The truth is just one narrative among many—and often, it's the least exciting one.”
Critics have called the shift “a dangerous departure from democratic norms,” but Leavitt brushed them off with a beaming smile. “That’s just their truth, and I celebrate their journey.”
She has since launched a podcast titled Radical Dishonesty: Speaking Your Power Without Verifiable Sources, featuring guests like George Santos, Aaron Rodgers, and a hologram of Baghdad Bob.
As of press time, Leavitt was preparing for her next internal breakthrough: overcoming the toxic idea that “words should have consistent meanings” or human beings shouldn't be sent to concentration camps.
